Monday, November 2, 2015

Writing Thoughts





This is a painting I bought last week.  It just really spoke to me.  Water, stone, lilies, a pair.  The colors are lovely and I look forward to hanging it in my meditation space.

Both our boys have left home which at first left a huge vacuum in my life.  There my husband and I stared at each other.  He barely says two words to me all week and I haven't a whole lot to say to him so it is very awkward.  I have since adjusted somewhat of course, well...still adjusting as it is like I realize husband and I have little to nothing in common anymore.  I am trying to come to terms with it.

But I have adjusted probably too much for our boy's liking, ha ha.  I have taken over one of their bedrooms for my own space and am using it to go through all my collections and crap I've saved like a wintering squirrel.  It is time to let all this "stuff" go.  It is a slow process because as I release I need to mourn.

The other bedroom has remained mostly untouched.  I want to get rid of the desk and sofa in there and my kid needs to move his bed out that he brought in to store until he and his girlfriend got another place.  There are 2 1/2 beds in there and they need to go.  So I am waiting on that somewhat.  Another part of me hates to tear his car pictures etc. off the wall.  It just seems so final, you know?  Yes, I am a sentimental witch.  Sigh.

BUT I also want that space for my art room, exercise room and meditation room although the other room may stay my meditation room.  I now sleep up here because of my other half.  He snores and yet won't move out so I had to for my sanity.  20+ years of not sleeping made me think I am a candidate for sleeping drugs but alas, moving out of that space has done wonders for me.  Like somehow losing 25#.  Like magic.  So when you hear sleep deprived gain weight believe it!

I took off this Friday and Saturday as I was to go to an Elderwoman conference that was actually within 2 hours of me!  Well, as it turns out it was cancelled due to lack of interest :(.  Most the activities done are in the southern part of the state which requires a long stinky drive and a few days off so this really was something I was looking forward to.  I sometimes get really lonely here.  I have my card making group and my job but no real close women friends locally and being an outsider here I don't feel as though I fit in.  Everyone here is very Christian so that is another thing I feel I need to not express.  It gets lonely.

So now I have a three day weekend and weather is to be shit of course.

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